Triumph

Today was different. It brought back an experience that I once had, but it was different.

I had the chance to watch my brother's graduation from good ole' Powell High School and receive his Phd. Yes I know what Phd stands for, Powell High Diploma. I went to the graduation excited and nervous at the same time. On one hand I was expecting another graduation, but knowing that my brother was graduating made it a little more special. Don't get me wrong, I'm positive so many other parents, brothers, sisters, etc. were experiencing the same emotions as me but it's my story so I'll cry if I want to. Not really cry, I am a man, but brag on Tucker. I got lost in my thoughts as I sat in my seat at Thompson Bowling Arena, one of the worst places on earth (sorry I am a Kentucky fan). Getting lost in my thoughts included listening to a man make verbal threats about how he was gonna get rowdy, and tear someone a new one because everyone was saving seats. Suck, is a good word to describe that moment in time. While trying to be patient through all the speeches, awards, and music I kept getting more excited about the sight of seeing Tuck walk across the stage. Finally after all the shenanigans, it was time to witness history. Tuck got up from his seat already pumped up and walked to the podium to hand the speaker his name tag. In that moment, I was taken right back to myself walking across the stage and remembering the feeling of absolute joy. Well that same feeling came back, as I stood up with my family and friends and cheered on Tuck. That wasn't the best part. The best was when he was walking back to his seat and raised his arms in the air and pure triumph. It was one of the moments I will never forget.

If you really knew me, Hardball is my favorite movie of all time. For those who have missed out on life and haven't seen the movie, it is, as a good friend said just recently, the urban version of The Sandlot. The only thing is Hardball trumps Sandlot. I will stand by my words against whomever wants to debate. The reason I bring this up is because this is what Tuck looked like. No, he was not on the arms of other people, even though that would have been hilarious, but it was this scene of pure joy that I can't describe with words. Instead I'll let the man, the myth, the legend Keanu Reeves say it: 

“Watching him raise his arms in triumph as he ran to first base, I swear I was lifted in that moment to a better place. I swear he lifted the world in that moment. He made a better person. Even if just for that moment. I am forever grateful to Jarius for that.”

This quote sums up how God used Tucker to remind me of Him and how I felt whenever He found me dead in my sin. I also feel like this is how God, Jesus, and Heaven feels whenever one sinner is found. Man...what a picture to think about. Getting a little choked up so I'm gonna push through. 

A piece of scripture that comes to mind is Luke 5:27-32 and the story of Jesus calling Levi. So far, Jesus has handled a paralytic, a leper, and a demoniac. Now He is ready for he worst of the group, a tax collector. Tax collectors were despised as traitors and extortioners. They were put into a class of their own that was excluded from the Jewish faith. But here is Jesus and He calls Levi to leave his booth and "Follow Me." Levi drops everything and follows. This must have been a monster sacrifice seeing that tax collectors were normally wealthy. Then Levi throws a great feast for Jesus in his own house! Kidding me? That's awesome. One reason Levi threw the party was because he wanted his friends to meet Jesus. A bunch of sinners to be exact. 

A couple of thoughts to take away from this:

- I love that Jesus is attracted to the nasty, smelly, despised people of society. That isn't to say Jesus doesn't love those who are wealthy, He does. But His heart is moved toward those who are the outcasts. 

- I love that Levi drops literally everything and follows Jesus. Can't imagine the luxury he was willing to leave behind to find life. He found it by golly. 

- I love that Levi threw Jesus a party and he immediately wanted his friends to meet Jesus. That is a clear image of the Holy Spirit moving through Levi and wanting others to know about Him. 

- Jesus had to be overjoyed. The story goes on to talk about how the religious leaders questioned Jesus and how He could eat with sinners. They basically were trying to blame Him for being too happy. What fools....funny thing is, I am that fool. I do that often. I'm thankful for grace and that He has moved my heart to be like Levi and share Jesus with others. 

The main thought/image I get of this is Jesus celebrating with Levi and finding one of His lost sheep. A set of arms lifted high as Levi said yes to the call, and a set of arms rejoicing over Jesus coming into his life. Both lead back to God and using Jesus to find His lost children. 

I get the unbelievable chance to serve at Windy Gap, a Young Life camp in North Carolina, for three weeks starting May 24th. I have been to that place too many times to count, so it is basically my second home. But I never get tired of being there. I am like Jesus being there, too happy. I am also too happy thinking about the chances kids will have the chance to say yes to God and a relationship with Him. 

My hope is I will see some sets of arms being raised high over kids saying yes. Maybe they will look like G-Baby and some friends will lift them of their shoulders. Or maybe they will look like Tuck after he walked across the stage at graduation. Either way, it is a chance to throw Jesus a party for finding the lost. Shoot, maybe I'll throw my arms up in thankfulness. 

Tuck may never understand the full reasoning behind this, but he is my biggest hero on this earth. I think this is because I see God using him to bring me back to Himself. It humbles me and brings tears of joy. With that said, I am getting off so I can quit getting choked up. Remember, I don't cry. 

Amen. 

No Fishing

I enjoy fishing a lot for some reason. Can't really explain why, it must be because I'm a man. Then again, maybe that is why I love the fishing analogies in the bible when Jesus talks to Peter, or mentions anything about fish. You are probably wondering why did I put a no fishing picture on here if I love fishing so much. Well, let me explain...

For the past week or so I have felt like God has been silent in my life, and teaching me patience. Patience....silence...fishing. Yes those three go together like peas in a pod, just like the Trinity, see what I did there? Back to the topic. Silence is a great thing and sometimes I misinterpret that. And I wondered for a while why was I not hearing anything. Then I read this piece of literature...

"God withholds an answer to our prayers not only when they are unworthy but when He finds in us such greatness, such depth-depth and power of faith-that He can rely upon us to remain faithful even in the face of His silence. I remember a young woman with an incurable disease and after years of the awareness of God's presence, she suddenly sensed God's absence-some sort of real absence-and she wrote to me saying, 'Pray to God, please, that I should never yield to the temptation of building up an illusion of His presence, rather than accept His absence.' Her faith was great. She was able to stand this temptation and God gave her this experience of His silent absence. Remember these examples, think them over because one day you will surely have to face the same situation." 

After reading that I immediately had a feeling of joy and also a feeling of disturbance. How could a God who is so perfect trust me? A human who chooses sinful, selfish desires over Him. That is where grace and mercy intervene. Because of Jesus, we have received this gift and there is forgiveness equal to every desperate sin. Man alive. 

God is our source of hope. How is this true? Well I'll let Jesus explain that part: 

Matthew 13:44-46

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." 

You are telling me Jesus, the man, sees me as a hidden treasure? A pearl? Like the kingdom of heaven? I am worth everything? The answer is yes, every time. How could I not think He is our source of Hope when Jesus joyfully gave His life away so that He could have us, His treasure, forever? I don't know why I turn away from him sometimes, but I am pretty sure that is why God puts a No Fishing sign in front of me. There are those times when I want to walk to the lake where God has tossed my sinful ways DEEP into the water and dive back into ways of the past thinking it will bring me hope. That is simply not the case. Clearly there is a reason God threw those things into the water so that I wouldn't go back and fish for em'. That reason is because He wants me to see Him as my ONLY Source of Hope. I think after writing this post, I am going to be like the older lady and give Him the chance to be silent in my life so that I may see how much I depend on Him as my source of Hope. I feel like I am getting a glimpse of what that woman felt, but thanks be to God for the opportunity to be a part of His silence. In the meantime, I'm going to go fish in a lake that is different, where the water is clear and full Him. And listen to His silence that says, "Hey Austin, no fishing here my friend."

Amen. 

Once, for ALL

Once, for All.

That was the sermon I heard this morning at Fellowship Church in Knoxville. It included a video montage of many famous films based off of David v. Goliath. It also included many laughs provided by Greg Pinkner who has such a child like sense of humor, which is very similar to mine as we both find many things funny, but is so in love with Him that is in almost impossible to miss. Greg took the story about David v. Goliath and turned it into an Easter story that I had never heard before. Placing Jesus in both David and Goliath's images as Jesus, like Goliath is powerful in every way & couldn't lose a fight. I mean He is Jesus so yes that is true. But then there was David. I sat there and thought how could Greg turn this into Jesus rising from the dead. Then my mind was blown indeed after Greg broke it down. David was a teenager who stepped up among the whole army of Israel and said "I'll fight Goliath". Goliath is also at the time 6'6 which is HUGE compared to normal Israelites who stood at 5'1. The meaning behind it, David defeated Goliath as we know slinging a rock into his forehead that would kill him. David won a battle for ALL of Israel for years and years to come. Jesus did that same thing. Jesus willingly chose to die on a Cross for us ALL. It still is hard to imagine One man saying yes the whole time being persecuted for doing right, and dying because He loves us. He just does.

Jesus died Once, for ALL. Rising from the dead and fulfilling scripture which proved that God knew what He was doing. He loves us so much, and my words cannot grasp the greatness of that extravagant love.

Growing up playing sports all my life, my dad was very involved and would attend the majority of my games. The one that sticks out is playing football in high school. Now don't get me wrong I was an animal...my freshman year because I quit after my sophomore year. I'm not ashamed. My dad always stood in the same spot of that stadium and would point towards his watch and I knew he was saying "It's Time". I for some reason loved it because it would get me fired up, thinking it was my turn to step up and make some noise. But that is also a statement that turns into selfishness. Sometimes I use it to think I have to step up and earn His grace & sometimes I do it to think I must simply do good as if my good and bad actions are on a scoreboard. Both are wrong in every way possible. It is such a hindrance in my walk, but I couldn't be more thankful for the Cross. Couldn't be more thankful for Sunday. Jesus rising from the dead shows that we ALL are forgiven.

I also feel like God took that statement, "It's Time" and used it for His good in my life. Sitting around Saturday I had time to rest just like Jesus had rested in the tomb. It was as if God knew with his loving patience, and perfect timing with everything, He said on Sunday, "It's Time". He raised Jesus from the grave to prove His power on Saturday. If God had raised Jesus 15 min after He died, I don't know if His power would seem so powerful. But the fact God is completely omniscient but yet so close, proves that raising Jesus on Sunday is another reason to know He is all powerful and never lets us go. He knows me so personally and knows every single one of us more than we can grasp.

As I sit here dwelling in His grace, I also feel like Peter when Jesus appears to Him after rising from the dead. Peter has went back to fishing, probably because he felt comfortable there & in his mind that is what he knows best. But Jesus had a different plan in mind. I can picture Jesus with a gentle touch on Peter's shoulder saying, "Peter, it's time. Follow me". The words "Follow Me" are so powerful because they don't need explaining. He just wants us to drop everything again and follow Him. Jesus didn't settle and never stopped like we do a lot. Jesus is different. Jesus is also saying to each one of us individually, "It's Time. Follow Me".

Amen.

Who would have thought.

Who would have thought that the God of the Universe considered us all worth dying for. Who would have thought that we were all individually thought about when Jesus took all 39 lashes, was spat upon, yelled at, cursed at, and crucified for being sinless. Who would have thought that God sees every single one of us and delights in us, because of THIS DAY. The day that Jesus said those words 2000 years ago and that ring around the world till this day. IT IS FINISHED.

If you had talked to me a couple of weeks ago and asked how I was doing, I would've told you that I have been in a rut. A rut that included me wondering why sin was not a big deal to me for some reason. Sin is clearly a massive deal, so why in the world is my heart not breaking at the thought of my own sin? The same sin that drove the spikes through the hands and feet. The sin that yelled out "Crucify Him!" Man, that is hard to think about, but so true at the same time. Again, why would this not make me want to crawl in a hole if anything? I had felt like I was the one looking for God, as if He is hiding from me. Weird huh? God running away from me? That's silly. But I did sadly. Then today came around. I had the opportunity to take part in fasting with some friends of mine here in the Dirty JC, and by golly I'll tell you that it is rough. Mother is yelling at me because she wants me to come eat some jambayala, and I have never fasted before so, yes of course this sucks. Is it worth it? Absolutely. 1) I am a man so my mom can't tell me what to do as I type this. 2) You don't usually turn down your own mother's cooking who comes from an Italian heritage and makes some bomb-shell food. 3) It is giving me such a different picture than I've experienced before and knowing I don't need food. I need Him. The things of this world I put before Him and think I need are so incomparable to Him. Again, hard truth but grateful that there is grace in that.

I have found a new hobby with eBay, thanks to my roommates, and received my first award you could say, that I bidded on. I got a new Nike MachSpeed Black driver for 24.99. Yeah, what a steal. This is a club that would cost easily over 200 dollars today. BUT Big Poppa was the only bidder on it, so in your face golf world. The club came in the mail today, and I had no idea it was coming in. So of course I pulled apart the box and pulled out the new club. I checked it out to see if it was "VERY GOOD" as the description said online, and dag gum this thing basically looked brand new. (Which I've told people, my golf buddies I should say) I started to pull of some of the stickers that were on it and wiped off the stickiness from it. Funny thing was, as I was wiping away the club I couldn't help but think about today and how much I had prayed about not wanting to miss everything leading up to the Cross, so Sunday will be a day that I can get rowdy. Anywho, I started developing this picture of God taking each one of us and polishing our buffs and cracks we created from seeking other "gods" to fill our hearts. I saw God wiping away our sin that has covered us for however long, and making us BRAND NEW. Making us white as snow. It is funny how God can use some of the smallest things to bring me back to Him. I couldn't be more thankful. Am I looking forward to Sunday and getting rowdy? Mos def. But till then, I hope that I don't miss today and why Sunday is so special.

Just like Barabbas, we are free to go. Our sin is paid for in full. The sinless One continues to whisper in my ear whenever my mind starts to wonder away, and says "It is finished". Amen.


P.S

Who would have thought that yes, the man the myth the legend Big Poppa would start blogging. I have had this weird urge to make a blog for a couple of weeks now, and have chatted with some friends about what their views of it were. Not that I needed to be persuaded a lot, because I feel that the Lord has blessed me with not only a mind that thinks deep and wide, but also a heart that loves to share Him. I am grateful for these gifts and wondered how could I use it to continue sharing the Gospel...then I scrolled across this bad boy. It started with reading some of Jim Branch's posts, which mine will never compare to his because...well he is Jim Branch simply put. His posts gave me some inspiration and the thought of "what if?" The thought about starting a blog was scary for a little bit, because I want this blog to have nothing to do with me and glorify myself. My hope is that through this blog and sharing my life, this can be a living testimony about how great God's grace is through His Son and how I am simply a part of His story for something bigger than myself.

There will be many of times where I feel a whole story is needed to be told in exact detail, and times where short and few details are needed. It is just a strange way the Lord has crafted my brain along with having ADD. I am not mad whatsoever about having ADD. If anything I'm glad because I have this thing called adderal. Helps me concentrate. So lets hope that I take my medicine everyday like I'm supposed to and maybe, just maybe, I won't feel the need to always explain everything in full detail.